Tonight I will be heading to downtown Portland to dance the night away to 70's and 80's music for my good friends birthday. I cannot help but wonder if there will a special music mixed in honor of the "Queen of Disco" Donna Summer who died yesterday, May 17th at the age of 63 to cancer.

As many of you know, I take opportunities like this to learn more about the famous person who died...some little known facts I just learned:

• Donna Summer's birth name was LaDonna Adrian Gaines
• Summers music was either sampled or covered by Dolly Parton, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Madonna and Beyonce.
• She battled cancer for 10 months before dying.
• In 2000 (Over 20 years after her first release) Summers continued to score top ten hits on the Billboard Dance Charts.
• She was one of 7 children and raised in Boston Massachusetts.
• Summers had a Top Forty hit on the Billboard Hot 100 in every year from 1976 to 1984.

Anyone have memories of Summers music they want to share? Any guesses on the type of funeral Donna Summers will have? I can't help but wonder if a disco ball will be in site during her memorial.

Death isn’t something that is new to all of us. In fact, we hear people dying every now and then. But very few of us know the best way to extend our sympathy to the family of the departed. We go to funeral and we don’t know how to react around family members and we’re clueless on what to say to somehow help ease their pain.

This is where flowers are extremely useful. When you wish to send your condolences or share your sympathy, sending flowers is one very popular option. It’s a very meaningful gesture and people from across the globe appreciate it. But did you know that different type of flowers express different messages?

Below are the common flowers given during funeral and the type of message they send.

Continue reading “Flowers for Funerals: The Best Way to Show Sympathy” »

The fear of death is one of the most complicated phobias to affect at least 75% of the world’s population. A lot of people are afraid of dying. While some fear being dead, there are those who are extremely scared of the actual act of dying.Although this fear can be explained and even justified, it if affects your daily life, it’s no longer healthy and realistic. What one needs to understand is that death will come to all of us eventually and there’s no way that we can prevent it.

What you can do though is to have a healthy type of fear and that is to be scared of dying unprepared. You don’t want to leave the world with unfinished business and not able to do everything that you’ve dreamed about. Although it’s going to come to you no matter what you do, you can prepare for a successful, peaceful death. How? By living your life to the fullest and by striving to become an inspiration to others.

Be prepared all the time

One thing that makes death even scarier is that nobody knows when it will come. While other people live for hundreds of years, others die even before they reach their teenage years. So, what can you do? Stop obsessing about death and do something to protect yourself from untimely demise. Simple things like putting your seatbelt when you’re driving or living a healthy life can give you better chances of living longer.

Also, do not fear death by making sure that you’re ready to go anytime. Stop making enemies, tell the people you love how you feel about them each and everyday, do the things that make you happy, and be an inspiration to people around you.

The world is not our home

In order to easily accept death, one must understand that this world that we’re living in right now is not exactly our home. Each of us is just a traveler passing through. In a matter of days, months, or years, we all shall move on to our next life and we’ll take with us nothing but imprints of our good deeds or negative actions we have created while on Earth.

Welcome and not fear death

Realizing that death will eventually come to all of us actually offer benefits. As we have limited time here on Earth, we are encouraged to maximize that time and live in such a way that people around us will not forget we have existed. Live life helping others, and offer love, compassion, and wisdom with people you encounter. If you do this, you’ll find yourself in your dying bed months or years from now without single regret or fear.

For more information: Dealing with Fear

Sadly last night I heard that Dick Clark died at the age of 82. Now, if you have read anything about me, you know that I was not part of a generation that grew up watching American Bandstand. Yet, I do remember that wherever I was each year on December 31st as the clock crept closer to midnight I would turn on the tv to watch Dick Clark’s Rockin New Years Eve in Times Square to ring in the new year. I would fantasize about how crazy it would be to be watching him and the line up of musicians live in New York City.

Today as many daytime TV shows reminisce about the death of an american idol, I find myself learning more than I ever had known about Dick Clark.  Long time friends reflect on their times with Dick Clark, Al Roker shares stories about how Dick transformed equality in our culture introducing african american musicians into the music scene, and video clips show Dick Clark sharing his thoughts on the power of music.

As a music lover, a quote from Dick resonated with me “Music underscores everything that happens to you, you can listen to a happy song and it could have been a memory of the worst times in your life”. It made me think about what type of music I would like to have played at my funeral. Have you decided what music you want? Do you have songs that bring up good memories from years past?

As we all reminisce about Dick Clark and watch the numerous television specials about the icon, I think about what the funeral of Dick Clark will have. What celebrities will attend? What music will be played? Maybe the musicians will perform the songs live to honor their longtime friend. I know that if I personally knew famous musicians I would want to have a huge concert with all my friends singing my favorite songs, in celebration of my life!

Photo courtesy of Dick Clark Productions, Inc.

Dick Clark wasn’t just the host of American Bandstand or the face of New Year’s Eve. He was an icon in the field of broadcasting, a household name, an avuncular figure and even the punch line for jokes about longevity. With his passing from a heart attack Wednesday, celebrities have taken to Twitter to celebrate his life and mourn his loss:

Dick Clark dies at age 82

Ryan Seacrest: I am deeply saddened by the loss of my dear friend Dick Clark. He has truly been one of the greatest influences in my life. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.

Larry King: Dick Clark was a great friend, true legend, & a master journalist. Nobody did what he did better. It was a pleasure to be in his company.

Anderson Cooper: What a career Dick Clark had! What a life! My thoughts are with his family and friends.

Neil Patrick Harris: For ever, Dick Clark… So long.

David Boreanaz: My father did a lot of work with Dick Clark @Jim_Gardner. He remembers the moments at AM/Philadelphia and the days at WOLF-AM, SYR, NY.

See other celebrities who died this year

Denise Richards: My heart goes out to Dick Clark’s family and loved ones…. we lost a legend.. #RIPDickClark

Joan Rivers: Very sad to hear about Dick Clark. What a great life. What a great career. Relevant until the end. He will be missed!

Snoop Dogg: REST IN PEACE to the DICK CLARK!! U were pioneer n a good man!! Thank u sir

Al Roker: I got to meet him many times. I was meeting w/Dick in his office as the OJ verdict was announced. It was surreal

Mario Lopez: Just heard the news of Dick Clark… It was truly an honor to have worked with him, learn from him and to be able to call him a friend. He was a great man and an even better friend. The word legend is thrown around a lot, but it’s never more appropriate than when used in describing Mr. Clark. He was a real inspiration & influence in my life. I will dearly miss my friend… Rest well DC

Marlee Matlin: So sorry about passing of Dick Clark. A man with the gift of discovering talented musicians he also was a consummate producer/lovely man RIP

Questlove: Dick Clark. A Great Philadelphian. Thank You Very Much! (later) Guys I’m aware Clark is [from] NY, but the show that brought him national attention “the Philadelphia way” American Bandstand makes him one of us.

See photos of Dick Clark through the years

Andy Cohen: RIP Dick Clark! The broadcasting legend will remain a teenager in our memory forever. #Bandstand

Donnie Wahlberg: Very saddened by the loss of a true legend… Mr Dick Clark. #ripDC

Seth Green: So saddened by Dick Clark’s passing- an innovator, a legend, a man who believed in the greatness of humans. #ThankYou

Yvette Nicole Brown: Heartbroken #NothingElseToSay

“Weird” Al Yankovic: Such sad news. RIP Dick Clark. http://twitpic.com/9bd5uf

Chris Harrison: Just heard the sad news about the passing of Dick Clark. A legend in our game!

Holly Robinson Peete: #RIP Dick Clark. Always so nice Employed me many times. I will miss you Dick. Prayers to Kari and the family #Legend

Russell Simmons: Dick Clark was eternally young. No matter what culturally phenomenon was happening, he always embraced it. RIP… http://bit.ly/JI4pMr

Wayne Brady: RIP Dick Clark. Being able to do the New Year’s special w him was an honor. A TV pioneer and extraordinary business man. God Bless.

Shawn Ryan (The Shield creator): Hope Dick Clark‘s somewhere spinning a hip new single for the kids and ringing in the New Year.

View original Celebrities Tweet Reactions to the Passing of Dick Clark at TVGuide.com

Last night I watched a recording of April 11th’s episode of Rock Center with Brian Williams and felt compelled to reflect on the news piece about the World Trade Center being rebuilt in New York City. Over the last 10 years, most of us have heard the controversy over whether or not a “replacement” building should be constructed, or if the ‘Ground Zero” should be solely dedicated to a memorial in remembrance of the 2,996 lives lost on September 11th, 2001. We watched as everyone tried to compromise to create something honorable, lively and memorable.

As I prepare to launch the full Clear Memorial web site – consisting of grief support and funeral planning tools, I have been reading a lot about the grieving process, how everyone grieves differently, and the importance of each step through the journey of grief…despite its difficulty. The news piece brought light to the journey many iron workers have been going through since they started construction of  One World Trade Center. Many of the workers who helped to rescue victims on 9/11 are now part of history as they work to complete the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere.

Tears flow down the face of a iron workers wife. She remembers her husband in deep depression because of the visual aftermath of 9/11.  She openly shares that she never thought her husband would return to his normal self after that day. Yet many of the workers now share that the construction of the new building has truly created renewal within them. Hope. Growth. Life.

The iron workers have come face to face with the wounds from 9/11. It has given them the courage to revisit aged wounds and the ability to heal. They were open and vulnerable.  Throughout the construction of the One World Trade Center, Continue reading “Rebuilding One World Trade Center Helps Mourners Process Grief” »

I met Lily while walking the Wildwood Trail in Forest Park near the Pittock Mansion in Portland, Oregon. She sat chomping on a patch of clover paying no attention to me or my girlfriend. I knew this wasn’t a typical wild rabbit—the kind you see scurrying around the woodlands. This was a small Netherland Dwarf that someone turned loose. “You know what?” I said to my friend, “If that bunny lets me pick her up, I’m going to take her home.” Lily was accommodating, so I tucked her in the sleeve of my sweater and drove home.
Lily was a little princess, a house pet, not a rabbit to keep outside in a hutch. I loved her.  She was little, cute, and spunky. She enjoyed snuggling and licking my neck with her tiny, pink tongue. And, it only took 20 minutes to potty train her in the kitty litter.
I enjoyed Lily for almost two years before I found a lump in her breast. Alarmed, I took her to our veterinarian. As I feared, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The decision to remove the diseased breast was an easy one. I wasn’t told that rabbits often die of heart attacks coming out of the anesthesia. Continue reading “Grieving the Death of a Pet” »

Why hold a funeral? What about a memorial service instead? What if we just scatter her ashes at the beach? “Each generation receives culture from the one preceding, alters it a bit, and passes it on.”

My 96-year-old Aunt Lillian died a couple of years ago. My mother endured mental illness, and as such, my siblings and I were closer to her than Mama. Aunt Lillian was a loving, accepting and encouraging  presence to everyone she met. When we received the sad phone call from Idaho, we learned  the memorial was the following day! With such short notice, we were unable to attend. We were heartbroken and still feel wounded at having missed the opportunity to grieve with our extended family.

There is a basic human need to participate in rituals surrounding a death and to connect to others in our bereavement. Continue reading “Why Have a Funeral or Memorial?” »

Let the dead bury their own dead, Jesus tells his followers. But these days, it seems, even the living think they can’t afford to do it. Their question: Why bother?

Americans increasingly cremate remains, at least in part with hopes of saving on funeral expenses. One-third of those who chose cremation in 2010 had said cost was a factor, up from 19 percent in 1990, according to a Funeral and Memorial Information Council survey of 858 adults. In Nevada, where unemployment and foreclosure rates are through the roof, 73 percent of those who died were cremated. That was up from 65 percent in 2006 and more than any other state.

But financial matters can’t be the sole driver of the trend. Continue reading “History of Traditional Burial Ceremonies & Why They Matter” »